Wait, What?

skykingcat:

The Harry Potter Rap Battle - Harry vs. Voldemort
(music by Mark Douglas from IndyMogul.com) 

Voldemort:
I’m the darkest dark wizard in all of history
I’ll slay your ass out like Cedric Diggory
With the wave of my finger I’ll put you on the floor
You’s a punk-ass little kid without Dumbledore
I’m the best wizard rapper you ever will see
You’re a puny witch midget with a dead mommy
I’ve got multiple souls and can raise the dead
If you think you can win then you’ve been sorely misled

Harry:
You’s a big, bald fairy, you think I’m scared of you?
I smoked a basilisk and I’ll smoke you too
I got witches in class, I got witches in the halls
If you’re looking up my cloak you’ll see my Hagrid sized balls
I win at wizard duels, I win at wizard chess
Got platinum coated dubs on my Hogwarts Express
You can’t touch me son, I drive magic cars
I dish out big hurt you just pass out little scars 

Voldemort:
Poor little Harry, you’re such a darling lad
Do you miss your uncle? Your mom? Your dad?
Oooo that’s right I killed them, your little owl too
All your friends are next, I’ll cut right through you fool
You look like Marcy from Peanuts and your wand is tiny
Is that why you couldn’t close the deal with Hermione?
My boys are called Death Eaters, they’re black magic studs
They’ll make you disappear, they don’t care for mudbloods
You can never find me, it’s like trying to catch smoke
You can’t hide from me with your punk-ass cloak!
You think you’re invisible, but I can see through that
I’ll roll up with my wand and go ratta-tat-tat!

Harry:
Say it don’t spray it, your breath smells like a grave
Your teeth look like tombstones, and your nose is concave 
Your head looks like a golf ball, your face looks like a lizard
Here’s the toll free number for the hair club for wizards! 
The toughest gang around is the Gryffindor crew
Wizard drive-bys is what we do
When dementors try to ice me I step right up and own ‘em
I crack a butterbeer and say, “Expecto Patronum!”
…
Can’t front on that! 

Oh. My. God.